I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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