I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
