At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
