If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
