Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
