Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
