maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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