this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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