I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
