I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
