Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
