the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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