The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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