Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
