the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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