I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize