Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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