We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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