I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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