He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
