I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
