everyone is single if you try hard enough
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When did angry sex become our thing?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
