found the other keg... it's in the tree
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
