i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
