It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
