hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
