I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
