so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
