So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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