he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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