Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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