he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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