just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
