Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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