remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
