can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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