you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
