We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
