Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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