She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This house was built for laser tag.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
