remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
