Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
