i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
