just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
