I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize