help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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