So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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