Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
