The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
FUCK WHALES
Text me some of your sweat
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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