I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
