Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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