So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
