The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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