I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
