i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
