thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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