therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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