i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
