I am in a vortex of obligation.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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