It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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