I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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