ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
