would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
