He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
