hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
