We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
