He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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