I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize