am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
