Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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