I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
